Working for yourself means you’re the strategist, the doer, the marketer, the bookkeeper, the service provider, and the visionary, all rolled into one. It can feel like a constant balancing act.

Some days you’re in the flow, focused and energised, moving things forward with ease. Other days you feel exhausted, scattered, or overwhelmed by the sheer number of things on your plate.

In the middle of all this, it can be hard to know what you need in order to get back on track. Do you need to push harder and get more disciplined? Or do you need to slow down and show yourself some kindness?

There’s a simple tool that I’ve used for years that gets to the core of this straight away. It’s so helpful, I wanted to share more about it with you. 

🤓 A Simple Tool for Clarity

The Kindness–Discipline chart is a simple gauge that helps you figure out where you are and what you need in the moment. The graph has kindness on one axis and discipline on the other. At any point in time, you can place yourself somewhere on that graph.

This chart has helped me a lot when I’ve felt overwhelmed, stressed, or confused about my business. When you work for yourself there are so many hats to wear every single day, so much to learn, so much to do, and so much to be. It can feel too much.

But this tool really boils it down to a clear binary choice: what do I need right now? Do I need more kindness, or do I need more discipline? For me, that simple question has been incredibly helpful, not just for my mental health but also for the health of my business. 

🧰 Your Personal Toolkit: A Pick and Mix

Think of your personal toolkit as a kind of pick and mix. You don’t need to use every tool all the time. You just need to know which one will serve you best in the moment.

Sometimes that’s kindness. Sometimes that’s discipline. Sometimes it’s stepping back and seeing the bigger picture. Sometimes it’s moving your body or doing something creative. The point is, only you can feel what you need at any given moment.

Here are some examples of what that toolkit might look like: 

• Self compassion: giving yourself permission to rest, switching off early, or simply acknowledging that you’re doing your best.
  
  
• Discipline: setting deadlines, blocking time for focused work, or sticking with one task until it’s done.
  
  
• Zooming out: taking a step back from the details to look at the bigger picture of your business strategy.
  
  
• Exercise: moving your body to clear your mind, whether that’s a walk, a run, or gentle stretching before bed (the body loves doing this before sleep).
  
  
• Creativity: doing something playful or expressive that sparks inspiration and fresh ideas.
  
  

You don’t need all of these at once. You only need the one that shifts your energy and helps you take the next step.

💛 Kindness: Turning Towards Yourself

 
Kindness in this framework is about recognising when your body, mind, or spirit needs care. It’s not selfish. It’s essential to avoid burnout.

Kindness might look like:

• Scheduling downtime, just as you would schedule a client call.
• Protecting your sleep by switching your phone off at night.
• Journaling or meditating to process stress and find calm.
• Meeting a friend for a walk

If you’re running on fumes, snapping at the smallest things, or feeling disconnected, the kindness dial is the one to turn up.

✍🏻 Discipline: The Structure That Holds You

On the other side of the chart is discipline. Not in a harsh, critical or rigid way. But giving yourself enough structure to move forward. Without discipline, you can drift, procrastinate or end up busy without making real progress. I’ve been there! Busy sometimes feels so good.

Discipline might look like:

• Writing out your weekly schedule and sticking to it.
• Time blocking your day so important tasks don’t get lost.
• Batch creating social media content instead of scrambling last minute.
• Committing to showing up consistently, even when you don’t feel like it.

If you’re feeling scattered, distracted, or endlessly starting things without finishing them, discipline may be what you need most.

🌱 Setting the Conditions for Growth 

You can’t force change. In life or in business. Growth doesn’t happen because you push harder or punish yourself into progress.

What you can do is set the right conditions for growth to happen. 

It’s like tending a garden. Plants won’t grow if you yank at them, but they will thrive if you give them good soil, sunlight, and water.

In the same way, your business needs structure, care, and consistency. You don’t have to force it. You simply need to create the conditions and then show up.

Sometimes the right condition is more discipline. Committing to a marketing plan for example. And sometimes it’s more kindness. Like taking a step back to restore your energy. Either way, you’re not forcing results. You’re creating the right environment for them to unfold.

📝 Practical Questions to Ask Yourself

When you feel stuck or off balance, use the chart as a guide. Ask yourself: 

•  Do I need more kindness right now?
•  Is my body telling me to rest?
•  Do I need to switch off, slow down, or play?
  
  
•  Do I need more discipline right now?
•  Would more structure, focus, or accountability help?
•  Do I need to be more consistent in how I show up?
  
  
•  Am I overdoing either one?
•  Am I being so kind that I’m avoiding action?
•  Am I being so disciplined that I’m heading for burnout?

Your answers will point you towards the tool you need most.

🔦 My Experience with the Chart

Personally, I’ve found this chart to be really helpful when things start to feel chaotic. Running a business can be messy. Endless strategies to try, tasks to do, and roles to play. For me, the Kindness–Discipline gauge cuts through it all. 

When I feel overwhelmed or stuck, I ask myself: do I need to soften and be kinder to myself, or do I need to tighten things up and be more disciplined?

That clear binary choice helps me get out of my head and unstuck. It helps me feel more grounded and make a better decision, whether that’s taking an afternoon off or committing to my weekly content plan. 

It’s improved my mental health and my business health because it stops me spiralling into confusion and instead it gives me a clear, practical way forward.

⚖️ Finding Your Balance

The Kindness–Discipline chart is about balance. Lean too far into kindness, and you risk avoiding the work that matters. Lean too far into discipline, and you risk burning yourself out. Only you can feel where you are at any one time. 

The sweet spot is somewhere in the middle, and it shifts depending on the season, your energy, your cycle, and your circumstances. It’s not about telling you what to do. It’s about helping you notice what you need.

When you work for yourself, that kind of clarity can make such a difference. It’s allows you to keep moving forward, (my favourite phrase right now is “slow and steady”) with a sense of ease.

These are the kinds of topics we talk about in The Women Entrepreneurs Group. Find out more and join our community here. https://www.thewomenentrepreneursgroup.com